New news about a learning disability or two

Most of you know that I've returned to school after a 25 year absence. My struggles have led me to get some educational testing done. The results have revealed no one, but two learning disabilities. One was made worse by the head injury sustained in 1995. The other was probably caused by it. That this should be discovered after so many years is a very, very bitter pill to swallow.

Flowers on Lewis and Clark Trail
All classes are going well except for math. Algebra has never been my strong point. Many years were spent beating my head against the wall trying to learn the meaning behind PEMDAS. FOIL wasn't so much an acronym as it is something that leftovers are stored in.

My problem with math is much worse than in years past. Letters are getting jumbled up like never before. Columns blend together and the difference between positive and negative are blurring. It took me about an hour and a half to work 15 problems on my math exam last time and I still failed it. Where I struggled before, I now find it nearly impossible. College accommodations may be my only hope of passing.

Everything takes much more time now and things get mixed up easier. We've laughed for years at my ability to get lost in a building or going to work. I've told the kids to put the clothes in the dishwasher on several occassions. That's okay though. They can always put the dishes in the washing machine later.

The most bitter pill to swallow is the reason for the head injury. If you've read my blog, then you know that I was beaten and sexually assaulted in 1995. The educational testing indicates that the head injury is the reason for several of my difficulties today.

I'm putting this in the context of one more thing to add to the list. Foot drop, my back and other health challenges are just as important as dealing with the learning disabilities caused by the head injury. Don't get me wrong. I'm mad as hell over the injury. However, unlike rabidly high blood pressure or a severe asthma attack, the head injury probably won't kill me.

I have a life to live and plan to live it. If college can happen in spite of foot drop, or after my financial aid appeal was denied, then it can happen despite a learning disability or two. Math and a few other things may be more of a challenge now. The diagnosis only clarify what we already suspected. They don't change who I am and I'm trying not to let it hurt my outlook for the short term.

I feel that if my foot could relearn how to walk last year, then one year, I may learn to fly. You never know what the future holds. Learning disabilities, health challenges or not, faith is for believing and life is for living. Why do anything else?