12/26/2011

Why my legs would not work

The nurse from my neurologist called two days before Christmas to give me the news. I was diagnosed with arthritic spinal stenosis. What this means is that the lumbar portion of my back has developed arthritis. What that isn't necessarily a huge problem in and of itself the biggie problem is the spinal stenosis part of the diagnosis.

I do not have a tumor (thank you God!) but this is not something that will go away. Worse, the diagnosis of arthritic spinal stenois means that I will have to work very hard to maintain functionality. A flare up can happen again at any time. Later on, life will mean a walker or other assistance will be necessary.

The diagnosis on why my legs wouldn't work is not the Christmas present that I was hoping for. It's a lot for me to process. Even more worse is that this may be exacerbated by an injury sustained several years ago during the attack. That pill may be the most bitter to swallow.

However; I feel fortunate to have survived the attack from 17 years ago. Major injuries happened to my head, liver and kidney. Although I want very badly to become angry about the diagnosis of spinal stenosis I cannot do so yet and maybe never will.

Right now, even though my legs sometimes don't work, even though having arthritic spinal stenosis sucks, I'm still glad to be alive. That's what my focus is going to stay on. I'm not saying that bad days aren't on the horizon or that life is always grand. It's just that my illnesses have never defined who I am. So, there is no reason to for the heath challenges to start defining me now.