3/22/2010

Domestic Violence 101 Cycle Stage III: The Explosion

This article is part 3  of a series called Domestic Violence 101. It may be helpful to read more about the Honeymoon Stage and the Tension Building Stage before continuing. Don't worry. We'll wait for you. 


After the tension building stage the cycle really heats up. The strain becomes too much and abuse occurs. It can include hitting, kicking, sexual assault, choking or other forms of violence.


Early in the relationship the explosion stage may be less severe than it becomes later in the relationship. The one hard and fast rule is that the violence increases over time and doesn't decrease. The explosion may also last longer as the relationship progresses. Weapons may be used in addition to hands and fists.  The victim in need of medical care that is often denied. Drugs or alcohol may be involved but that is not always the case.

The victim may try to cover up the injury or make excuses citing “clumsiness” or “tripping over my own two feet”. Some victims will try to seek help after this stage. They may intentionally avoid family or friends for fear they will realize something is not right. This increases the victim’s feelings of isolation.

The abuser or victim may blame alcohol, drugs or stress as an excuse to hit. There is never a reason for domestic violence.

Note: If the victim survives, the honeymoon period begins again and the cycle continues.

Fortunately, education can help potential victims recognize the signs that their significant other could have an abusive battering personality.

Information taken from Clergy Training Materials from Hope for Healing.Org which was written by this author. All Rights Reserved 


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1 comment:

  1. Yeah, it's the surviving and letting the cycle start all over again that was so hard. Because the "honeymoon" period sucks you in again, and you start to think he loves me again, it's going to be okay, he was just having a rough patch and I wasn't being supportive enough, and on and on the cycle goes...

    11 years, more really if you consider my Dad and other family members, I went through this kind of living nightmare, a hell that seems without end as he controlled everything in my life, even when I could go to the bathroom. And like an idiot, I let him. I Kept telling myself if I try a little harder, work a little faster, behave a little better, he'll love me again. I'm in my 40's and have spent MOST of my life in one abusive relationship after another. Because well, that's how I thought it worked. I was conditioned from the time I was five on to live with abuse, and honestly had been programmed to believe that one day I'd get it all figured out, be everything they wanted, and they'd love me again.

    No more! I'll die a little old lady in a house full of plants before I find myself back in that kind of relationship!

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