The holidays were the worst time of year when I was a kid. Long hours at the family business made for long tempers on short fuses. My best hope was to duck my head down and stay out of the way. There was no escaping this. As a child I had no choice. As I became a teenager things improved by getting a job out of the house.
Christmas as an adult gets better every year. Now, I love the Christmas season and throw myself into it with gusto.If I'm making up for lost time I don't care. Now, if I hear of an event that sounds interesting I get to go. If I want to decorate one tree, three or none it's my prerogative. Finally, I get to make those Christmas cookies that always sounded like fun as a kid and I get to make them with my kids.
When you grow us in an abusive home you learn that the small things really are the big things in life. My heart used to hurt when friends talking about baking cookies with their mothers. That was something that I always wanted to do. Now, I can. In fact, it's one thing that my daughter's and I look forward to every year.
What I am trying to tell you is that Christmas as an adult gets better every year. You can walk away from the demons of your past by being kind to yourself during the holiday season. As one survivor to another I give you permission to go have fun.
Christ came so that we may have life and have it more abundantly. That's the meaning of the season. If you want to decorate one tree, three or none you can do that now. If you want to go to every holiday event that you hear about that's ok too.
Christmas should be a time to live and enjoy life. If you are a survivor of abuse give yourself a present. Go enjoy the whole holiday season. Christ came so that you might have it. You deserve it. Now go, have fun and be a kid again. Only, don't be the kid that you were as a child. Be proud of yourself and be the kid that you want to be. Smile, laugh and enjoy life.