8/30/2012

Rep Todd Akin announces the Smart Uterus anti-pregnancy device

For days now, I have been composing my thoughts on how to respond to the remarks by Rep. Todd Akin, R-Mo about pregnancy after rape and his anti-abortion stance. Before writing this article, I hoped to simmer down so my red hot anger wouldn't cause me to write something regrettable. So far, no good.

My mind is still trying to figure out how an elected official can be so idiotic. The basis for Rep. Todd Akin lunacy is seemingly based on research by Dr. Fred Mecklenburg. (You don't even want to know where some of this doctor's "research" based on.) The whole idea that rape can't cause pregnancy is ludicrous and should be stuffed in a, well... never mind.. 

In the supposed brain of Rep. Todd Akin, women seem to have been gifted with a recent upgrade. Yes, ladies, we have apparently been endowed with the "Smart Uterus". According to Dr. Fred Mecklenburg and Rep. Todd Akin, the Smart Uterus comes complete with a special sperm stopping sensor that activates anytime a legitimate (whatever that is) rape occurs.

Yes, ladies. That's one less thing that we have to worry about. However; it doesn't look likes Santa Claus will have this under the tree this holiday season. Early tests are indicating that there some flaws in the Smart Uterus operating system.

An alleged software upgrade known as Stop Rape 2.0 may help. This involves intense education, prevention and awareness courses to prevent all sexual assaults. This is said to be the cure for preventing rape related pregnancy but is still in development. Currently, the Smart Uterus failure rate results in approximately 32,101 rape related pregnancies annually. Most people contend that any failure rate in Stop Rape is too high.

Meanwhile, advocates across the country continue to push for a cure. They are working on another software upgrade called Respect 3.0. These programs will be designed to operate on Common Sense platform 1.0. (Note: There is a rumor that hackers will be releasing a special program for politicians known as 11.6.12. Expectations are that this will spread quickly among the political ranks).

These all sound good but Rep. Todd Akin (who may be the recipient of 11.6.12) seems to be looking at the rape related pregnancy issue as more of a complication than a rape prevention issue. Currently, the only options for women who experience a rape related pregnancy are morning after pills or abortion. Neither choice is optimal. For now, at least they are choices.

However; if Rep. Todd Akin has his way, those options will be off the table. Women who experience rape related pregnancy or life threatening health related issues will have to suffer. Hopefully, Common Sense platform 1.0 or virus 11.6.12 will be unleashed before more damage can occur. Only time will tell.

In the meantime, if someone you know is dealing with a sexual assault issue help is available. The Rape Abuse Incest National Network (RAINN) operates a 24/7/365 toll free hotline. The number is 800-656-HOPE. It is the best place for sexual assault victims to receive support until Respect 3.0 and Stop Rape 2.0 are fully operational.

With elected officials like Rep. Todd Akin, the RAINN hotline is be our best defense until 11.6.12 is unleashed.

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