Memories of fall festivals in the East Tennessee Mountains

There is no place like Tennessee in the fall. A festival happens somewhere in the Knoxville area every weekend and corn mazes are open daily. Of course, an afternoon drive through the Smoky Mountains is a great way to get away from the office. Why stay inside when fall foliage and cool temperatures of the Appalachian Mountains are just outside your door?

Cades Cove fall foliage in the Great Smoky Mountains 2011

I love that the mountains are close enough to Knoxville that getting ready is a snap. Throw one of those lightweight women's sweaters in the car next to a picnic cooler and you're almost ready. Toss in folding chairs or a large quilt and you are on the way. I just love it. If I can catch a fall festival then the trip is even better.

My husband got me hooked on fall festivals when he was working in Jefferson County. Three of his country churches each held one in October. These were always complete with auctions, crafts and always homemade treats to take home.

Fall leaves in the Great Smoky Mountains 2011

People came from all over to these festivals but the crowds were smaller than at Dollywood. The crafts and food items were just as good or better than those in a large festival. This was proved by one of the churches.

Homemade apple butter cooked the old fashioned way is a huge draw for this church. Despite the cool weather the butter was cooked outdoors in a huge cast iron pot. The hot apple butter was carefully ladled into jars and allowed to cool.

The jars were sold during the afternoon auction. Those who were able to purchase were envied by the rest of us. Apple butter cooked this way has an unbeatable flavor. There isn't anything in the grocery store that comes close to the taste.

I haven't see it cooked that way before or since. The benefit of a smaller crowd meant actually getting to watch the full process. This remains one of my fondest memories of fall in Tennessee. What is your favorite memory? Let us know by leaving a comment.  

Pastor Missed Signs of School Shooter Instability

If you live in Knoxville you know about the recent schooling at Inskip Elementary school. This time the alleged shooter wasn't a student. It was a teacher. Accused of injuring the school principal and assistant principal is 4th grade teacher Mark Foster.

Since the incident several people have come forward saying they are not surprised by the incident. Indeed there were warning signs that Foster is a troubled individual. According to WATE, he was known to the Anderson County Sherrif's Dept. His sister-in-law, former friend, and brother have all spoken out. These news reports indicate problems with stalking, family violence and other disturbing behavior.

Today, his pastor speaks out with a different view. He says he never saw signs of impending trouble. Does this indicate that the pastor doesn't care for his flock? No. Can troubled people manage their own behavior over several years without giving indication to anyone? Maybe.

The more likely scenario is that the pastor vever received training to help him recognize warning signs. I often see this in cases of domestic violence. Pastors want to help. They do their best but without the right background they miss the signs and are less effective than they want to be. This leaves compassionate and caring pastors shaking their heads while wondering what they did wrong.

Fortunately, we can help. Hope for Healing.Org offers training that help explain the cycle of domestic violence, talk about some of the associated warning signs and help pastors learn how to create a safety plan for victims.

Has your pastor received training in how to respond to family or domestic violence? Ask. If the answer is no then share this link with your pastor. It offers free resources that can help. http://www.hopeforhealing.org/clergy.

Pastor Allegedly Pulls Gun on Son. Another Case of Family Violence?

WBIR is reporting that a local pastor allegedly pulled a gun on his son and threatened the son's wife and family.  (Click here for the news report.) Note: The accused is always presumed to be innocent until judged by a court of law.

Family violence knows no boundaries and should never be tolerated. That there should even be a hint of domestic violence in a pastor's family goes against our sense of order. Parishioners immediately begin taking sides the minute an allegation of family violence is made. One of the reason's that domestic violence in a pastor's family is so reprehensible is because it not only endangers the family as a unit but the church family as a whole.

Some denominations require extensive psychological testing to be done on all pastors before they are admitted into ministry. These tests are often performed in addition to a background check. The tests are not failproof but they do offer a proactive defense against domestic violence in the pastor's family.

There is no excuse for family violence. Pastors especially should be vigilant about their own behavior and that of their family members. If there are issues that could potentially lead to domestic violence counseling should be obtained immediately. This may require a pastoral family to live apart for a year. Pastor's may balk that this could hurt their ministry and it might. In reality, a separation under counseling will hurt a ministry much less than an allegation or actualization of family violence or domestic abuse.

Pastors and Domestic Violence

Domestic violence and Christianity are two terms that never belong together. Many people enjoy a close relationship with their pastors, clergy or other religious leaders. Maybe that's why we feel betrayed when we hear about abuses committed by a pastor or arrest for domestic violence.

Some of the behavior expected by pastors help to hide the crime of domestic abuse. The tendency to put the pastor on a pedestal, the frequent relocation of clergy families, discouraging the spouses of pastors from having a job outside the home... all of these add to the isolation of the victim. Unfortunately, this pattern sometimes ends in death. Domestic violence homicides are always an outrage. That it happens in clergy families is even more despicable.

Right now, Yahoo News is reporting than the ex-mistress of a minister testified that the pastor murdered his wife. Previously, WAFF reported on a pastor who turned himself in on charges of domestic violence. The blog Because it Matters - Freedom from Abuse in Christianity reports on yet another pastor who was arrested.

The good news is that most pastors are not abusers. The percentage of ministers who are domestic abuse  offenders is small. It is the small minority of abusive pastors who garner the attention of the national media.

Pastors who load supply trucks with items going to 3rd world countries isn't news anymore. Pastors who stay late to help someone with a problem, buy a food box for a parishioner, tithe, organize youth trips or senior outings, prepare sermons or are called away from family celebrations just aren't front page material.

Let's face facts, it is this kind of minister who deserves the front page space, not a pastor who is domestic violence abuser.

If you have questions about domestic violence the National DV Hotline has answers. 1.800.799.SAFE