Wife can't make decisions

Contribution by Terrance Kirby

My wife cannot make a decision to save her life. I don’t know why and I don’t even want to try and understand it. It was not always like this. When we first started dating, she was the dominate one. She knew exactly what she wanted and she was going to get it. I don’t know what happened or even when it happened, but now she is the complete opposite. She can’t choose a restaurant or a movie. She can’t even pick which one of the texas electricity providers to use. These are not hard decisions and to be honest they don’t even matter. I could understand struggling with the hard decisions. I could even understand wanting to do more research on some, but she doesn't’t even do that. When you ask her to pick, she looks at you like a deer in headlights. I wish I knew what to do to help her. I want to be a good husband, but I get so annoyed that it is hard to be helpful. Still, I love her and want to make her happy. Seeing her beautiful smile is what matters most. I will encourage her and love her and continue to help her when she wants it. That's what love is all about, right?


  1. Abuse makes a survivor second and third guess everything. Simple decisions aren't anymore. The emotions can lie dormant until a person feels safe enough to deal with them.

    It doesn't mean that she can't make decisions but it does mean that she needs love and time. Counseling may help you become more supportive toward the other. Talk with your doctor, pastor or domestic violence program for referrals.

  2. Love and patience will go a long way in solving any communication issues. My best to both of you! rcj